Social Media tells me they’re happy!

Recently, I met a friend who is quite a patient of social media enslavement. From an early morning breakfast update to a mandatory office conference selfie with them colleagues, she would put it all. Of course, her life seemed pretty perfect. Every time I would open my own feed, I would see some trending updates and mostly, even consider how boring and dull my life was compared to her or any other person connected to me through the internet.

The friend and I had lost touch but suddenly, we decided to catch up. It took us nearly 100 messages to make a plan but fortunately the online conversation did convert into an offline meet-up (Do I receive any brownie points for the execution?). Like old times, all the gossips and conversations kept flowing in and eventually, she started to share about the hard times she was going through which seemed whimsically strange to me because the online life was a flip of what she told. It striked to me how instead of rationally evaluating a situation, I let social media guide my belief. I didn’t push too much into the social life because that would have been too child like plus, she needed support for the ongoing angst.

Well, it took me a while to digest the dissimilarity. I even started to meet more people offline because suddenly, my belief on the virtual world changed. My basic understanding after the whole precis was that the people who claim to be over the moonly ecstatic and happy are generally close to melancholy and depression. It made me realise how deceiving social media or the virtual life could get.

Comparing our lives to someone we see happy on the web is just not right because perhaps, it’s a fake second life we’ve built for ourselves mostly in order to seek for attention and tell the world we’re going good whereas, the later might be the opposite.

I may sound overly critical here but all I want to convey is that don’t let social media result into self- deception. It’s perfectly alright to use it but to form a judgment or feel lowly on the basis of social network may not be the wisest decision.

Having said all of that, I would want to know how would you delineate the term “online life”? 🙂

How to master the art of ignoring someone you love?

Before you read on and earn a PhD in the field of blessed ignorance, tell me if you’ve ever been in a situation where you wanted to ignore someone you feel oodles of fondness for? It can get quite complicated and painful, right?

First of all, we all have reasons to ignore that someone. It could be due to their behavior, a rough argument or mere rejection. And we don’t always need a reason, do we? Lack of attention can trigger it too; mostly that’s what happens in my case by the way.

If yes, then I feel you bro. It’s one of the most annoying feelings in the world. We have that person added on our social media and we need to ignore them, but sadly, Snapchat keeps us updated about their fun night with the squad, Instagram tells us about their late night fancy dinner date and WhatsApp keeps showing their status. And it’s not like you can shut them all. So, what are we supposed to do? We so want their attention, but due to our recent grudge, we can’t even text because well, ego and that sense of self-respect.

And while we keep overthinking, this social media keeps reminding us of them. We cannot delete them either, because it’ll be “too wanna be” and child-like. Plus, we always want the best of both worlds –get all updates and, at the same time, stay at peace.

Here are some tips to cast that spell of ignorance right.

Rule Number 1

Never Sound Needy

I know you love them and as they say, when it’s love nothing else should matter. You must explain things and even go an extra mile to fix things up, but if the person just doesn’t understand then may be it’s time to back off a little and stand your ground. No body should be taking you for granted, ever. Stick to this and don’t get carried away. No more running after them. Acceptance is key here.

Rule Number 2

Play it Cool, Online

If you really wish to ignore them on the Internet, there’re quick changes you can make in the settings. Starting with WhatsApp, put the chat in Archives (no opening it). For Facebook, un-follow them so their updates don’t appear on your timeline. On Snapchat just don’t click on their story or even better, remove them for a while, no one gets any notification anyway. This way you’ll have them added but at the same time, there won’t be much access to their updates, and trust me, this will only make your life easier.

Rule Number 3

Stay busy. Burn them, boy.

The best way to not think about someone is by keeping yourself busy. Go out with friends, work on yourself, read books, eat good things and make them jealous. Trust me, if they really care about you, they’ll be burning up inside when they see you have fun with other people (especially common friends) and not them. Slow clap to our double standards.

Rule Number 4

Take it Slow

Did he/she just text you? Don’t get excited. Wait a while, may be for few hours or even a day? Just don’t revert within a second. Show them you have other things on your mind too. At least we can pretend we have priorities. And don’t try to make conversation in the very first place. Act formal, no “What’s up?” but a “How are you?” Start using their name to make it sound more legit (Hi Rajnikanth!). And a tiny disclaimer, increase the usage of words like hmmm, no idea, ya and ok. Short, dry replies act like a bomb.

Rule Number 5

Stay Focused, Stay Strong

Perhaps everything about them is perfect but I am sure there would be something you never really appreciated about them. May be how they make those weird noises while eating or that weird obsession with poop jokes. Try to think about why you fought or whatever led you to behave in this manner. This will only help you to keep your will strong to ignore the lad.

Follow these tips for a few days and trust me they will come running to you. And when that happens, don’t shower all your love at once. Have a stiff, casual embrace and they’ll surely be yours forever because then they won’t take you for granted. There’ll be that fear of losing you. And if even after a few days they don’t realise your absence, then I am sure your existence didn’t matter much to them anyway. Either way, let’s move on!

Is it okay to have no opinion at times?

“How can you not have an opinion?”

“You probably aren’t so sharp.”

“ Having no say prompts low confidence.”

I am sure you hear a lot of other things too when you decide to not interrupt in between a conversation.

Recently, I promised myself to become a good listener and being a human, speak about only those topics where I can really discern as I cannot know the whole nine yards. I decided to listen, absorb more and notice the behavior of the ones around me.

I do understand how having no opinion works well when you’re being intellectually idle and indecisive and even when we wish to not think seriously about a certain matter. But can an individual be an omniscient?

After my fact- finding, I found a perceptible behaviour in almost every second individual. Based on my analysis, I figured the following:

Half knowledge is dangerous– Often people start talking about subjects which they are not aware of which by the way, is perfectly fine. Improvising may turn right but sadly, most times it does not. I see people squalling randomly without adding any quality contribution to the conversation . What happens next? People end up not listening to you. (It’s almost like me giving my opinion about sports)

Tag of being; Win-it-all- Yes, it’s more of a competition here. People love to act like they have knowledge about each sphere. The whole idea of the discussion is usually to reveal that I know more facts than to focus on exchanging ideas and viewpoints. The one who speaks more, gets the tag.

Directly related to Ego– Another perceptible behaviour is associated with being stubborn and egoistic. If a person finds out he’s wrong he’d still continue with wrong facts just to save himself from the embarrassment. Concluded this after a conversation with a friend who supported no night outs for women. After giving out valid replies, the person still didn’t agree just because acceptance is too gawky, I believe.

Jack of all but master of none- My community groups are filled by instruction and advices from people. Arbitrary Topics along with futile opinions just to flaunt the knowledge of each sphere. 

Don’t you think it would make more sense if a successful entrepreneur shared tips to grow a business rather than a politician or a sportsman? Anyone can come up and say you sing bad, but only a genuine musician can tell you what notes you got wrong.

I am definitely not being a whiner here but I just feel that it’s okay to not say anything when there’s limited understanding of the event and a desire to signal to the peers that they ostensibly care about the issue at hand.

The lord has blessed us all with a gift of talking. We must use it to express our opinions and feeling but I believe overusing it can lead to sad results.

I feel it’s normal to just listen and not give opinion sometimes , no one comes out as a wanker anyway. What do you think?